Educating a 9th grader through online/homeschool is, so far, harder than doing it for a 5th grader. I've done it before - I know that I can - but I had a partner before. Now, everything is on me - money, education, discipline, activity. All of it. And doing all of that while keeping another child from a bottomless downward spiral.
Added to that, my very best friend has "simply decided" that when her daughter dies, so does she. No amount of my pleading that bereaving your surviving children on purpose will do them irreparable harm seems to matter. I can't judge her; losing a child is a special kind of torturous pain that never, ever goes away. But damn if I will not try to change her mind, no matter how "decided" she is. Her family needs her. I need her. I knew when we first discovered just how bad it was, that the best friend I knew might be gone to me forever. And I grieved for that as much as anything else. But I don't want to have to grieve losing her living self.
Life is hard right now. It is. But I am strong, and when I am not, I will weep as long as I need to, and get up and face it all again.
No comments:
Post a Comment