Recently I received what I perceived to be a fairly significant cold shoulder from someone I considered a friend. It was someone in whom I had a romantic interest to begin with, but it became clear that was not going to work out. And I thought we'd settled into a good, deepening friendship.
And then he sort of disappeared. Not completely, but there was a measurable decline in communication from him, and no reason for it. I was told there was some physical ailment, but nothing serious. So I kind of let it go, even though my feelings were a bit hurt. I didn't want to be clingy or needy.
Even so, I'd invested time, emotion, and myself into this friendship, and I felt I wasn't treated well (and I had done nothing to deserve this, as far as I could tell). So after a fairly abruptly worded request from me, I was given an explanation that he had been feeling low and missing local friends and needed to figure some things out "IRL."
And I thought...I ~am~ "IRL." Though we don't live geographically close and therefore don't spend (much) time in each other's physical presence, it's not like we haven't met. We have. We've spent hours chatting via text, video chats, etc. Over a period of months. He was a real person in my life, and had come to mean something to me - to be one of the people I consider a friend (and I do not use the term lightly, ever - I am careful to use the word "acquaintance" when I mean it). And I thought I was to him.
But I think I have been assigned to this realm of "not quite real" that diminishes my place in his world. I myself make no distinction between friends I see in person often, and friends I communicate with online or on the phone often. And so yes, this whole thing hurts.
I responded to his explanation with my honest feelings, and I offered words of support, but I think I maybe held back too much, not wanting it to be a big thing. And now I don't know quite what to say or do except to let it all go, and focus on people who really do want me to be part of their lives.
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