I need to purge

Words, that is. I need to purge words. My usual blogging community has been down for too long.

In the past couple of years or so, whilst learning my new identity as a single person, I've come across a lot of different kinds of people (well, they are men, because I only date men, but I say people because I'm not sure their gender has anything to do with their behavior).

Some I saw once and never again, whether by mutual choice, or one sided choice, it doesn't matter: it just wasn't going anywhere.

And some I've become good friends with - and feel so lucky to have done so.

And then others...I thought were friends. I thought, in our 40s and 50s, that these men would have learned by now what it means to be sensitive, thoughtful, caring. But some just never have. Hey, maybe that's why they're single! But - and maybe I have too much faith in people - a few surprised me. They SEEMED thoughtful, caring, emotionally and mentally intelligent.

One in particular acted like a complete asshole (more than once, but again recently). I called him out on thoughtless behavior, and his response was one giant excuse - no regard for me or my feelings, no "I really didn't mean to make you feel that way, and I'm sorry." Just "This happened. Feel sorry for me." Yeah, no. Not going to happen.

The thing is: I have friends. Most of my closest friends are not local, and when I finally have a few local ones, I want to hang out face to face sometimes. I don't wanna be their texting or email or chatting buddy. I don't need that. I need face to face, and a hug now and then, and real life interaction. So when someone shies away from that (when I know they aren't socially awkward or have anxiety about it), I do take it personally. As I should. And I won't participate in that relationship any longer.

Because I'm strong and loved and cherished, and I won't waste my time attempting to share myself with those who don't see or do that.

Wednesdays, man...whatareyagonnado?